Webcam Love

Do you like to watch the jerking movements of a madman?
Are you feeling hot enough to take your defenses down?
Would you like to see exactly what I am doing now?
If you do not get offended I will take your love to town

Does the thrill of rock hard beauty make your rivers flow?
Will you open up the canyon for my fishing boat?
Can we sail upstream between the fiery sheets of ice?
If we reach the point of ecstasy we shall stay afloat

How will coming in second feel when I'm past my best?
What can you achieve with broken down bicycle pump?
When will you decide to settle for the plastic toy?
If we stay together I hope we do not land with a thump

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Who Are? Why Do?

Who will win the fight between right and wrong?
Are things so simple we can reduce them to song?
Who dances alone in the dark with their lights out?
Are we going to go silently before we have time to shout?

Why does the labyrinth get mazier with time?
Do rings on a bell alert the thought police to crime?
Why would we suffer in solitude but remain optimistic?
Do belivers in science deny the spirtitual sadistic?

Who will see beyond the duality of civilised living?
Are animals a part of nature's way of giving?
Who creates their life with full on forward motion?
Are achievers the ones who analyse every notion?

Why did the path change from cobbles to slabs?
Do winners always want what is up for grabs?
Why does history distort with each written word?
Do Kings and Queens know that they look absurd?

Who complicates matters of stark simplicity?
Are our leaders engaged in knowing complicity?
Who cries when freedom is dragged into the gutter?
Are insiders the only ones who should have a flutter?

Why are flowers beginning to change their bloom?
Do questioning people deserve to be locked in a room?
Why the wait before we put words into action?
Do images on a screen provide the ultimate distraction?

Follow Your Heart

So now the hard work begins
It is easy to get enthused
But more difficult to get at it
Consistently
Every day
But when you have no other option
Then at least you know what to do
To build a wall
First you have to lay a brick
To build a good wall
Take care with every brick
Don’t rush
Don’t panic
Just keep putting bricks in place
Eventually you will have a wall
To be proud of
Follow others who are experts
They can get you there faster
If you learn by their mistakes
It is not rocket science after all
What I am doing is less pressure
Than performing comedy
Or even writing it
I now feel comfortable
In my own skin
I know this is right for me
Because I have been led to it
I would never have chosen it
But I have to follow it
I know there is something greater
In control of my destiny
And I chose to surrender to it
Let it guide me
To where I need to go
One brick at a time
Sweet Jesus

A Fresh Start

Today I decided to put my past behind me
I deflated the balloon and let myself down
I will still keep on writing these awful poems
But I no longer desire to be a puppet clown

It has been as if my life has been on pause
While I waited for fresh hope to arrive
So to fill the void I kept the old dreams alive
But now they are dead I can start to thrive

It feels so good to let go of unreal thoughts
They were never meant for public consumption
Other people told me that I made them laugh
So I made a common day misassumption

Fame is everything to the X generation
I thought I was special as indeed we all are
So I told the world they better pay attention
But with no obvious talent I was hardly a star

Deep down I knew that it was all just an act
But I couldn't face life with nothing to live for
So I told myself that I was being treated unfairly
And even threatened some people with all out war

But now something new has came into my life
Sure it may not lead to wealth or fame
But it is something I can put my heart into
And hopefully this will be a more enjoyable game

I have joined an affiliate marketing program
Which I believe has the legs to run to the top
I now need to convince others that I am the man
Who can help them stop their downward rot

But first I need to re-adjust my work ethic
Success only comes from grind and sweat
Nothing in life is guaranteed to succeed
But at least this is a more realistic bet

The tools and the training are all in place
A monkey could do it if he could cut and paste
At least that's what it said on the website
So this is my chance to prove I'm not human waste

What Life Does To You

A part of me feels like giving up
What is the point of carrying on?
No-one respects me or cares a jot
Probably cause I make them yawn

No-one likes a grumpy old man
Bitter through deserved failures
The amount of times I've given up
Must now be into double figures

With every defeat comes shame
My self esteem is now defunct
If I had the brains to go to University
I am sure I would have flunked

I think it was my broken upbringing
Although I know it's no excuse
I was battered down so hard
I wished it was physical abuse

I had no-one to encourage me
To tell me that I could succeed
So instead of aiming for the stars
I settled for smoking weed

Then I could live my dreams
Inside my twirly wurly head
But that doesn't pay the mortgage
Or get the wife and boy fed

I tried being a bit part actor
In someone else's corporate dream
But I soon got the dreaded sack
For not being a member of the team

If the shit hit the sizzling frying pan
Then I would try to find a job
But until then I will carry on
Earning a few measly adsense bob

I know I need to change something
Probably my mental attitude
Whenever someone compliments
I avoid them with significant latitude

I think I will start to meditate again
It used to give me inner strength
Now I hardly have the energy
To give the wife a length

I will also find some new goals
As the old ones are a bit tattered
I stole them from someone else
When mine were bruised and battered

One day I will look back and laugh
Thinking that I've got it made
And then no doubt I'll fuck it up
Once a spade always a spade

See there I go expecting the worse
It's like I am turning into my Mum
Now I know why my Dad left her
Her expectations are at best glum

I really need to get my house in order
Or my wife will up and leave me
Actually come to think of it
That would set captive free

For she is ten times worse
She never once looks at the upside
I chose a wife like my mother
To keep me on the down-slide

Actually that isn't very fair
We all have our choices to make
Some of them are pretty hard
Because she sure can bake

So I will be grateful for small mercies
And start putting on a braver face
For if there is one thing certain in life
A cook like her is hard to replace

As you get older it's not the sex
That keeps depressed couples together
It's the quality of the daily meals
That help you ride the rough weather

She promises not to harass me
I put the food on the table
It's a deal that works quite well
Now that we are both mentally unstable

Turning The Tables

I skipped a few days pursuing my dream
I thought I lost it somewhere up the stream
It turns out that I was just fetching it back
Wherever I go I never lose the knack

I thought I had found something a while ago
But now I am comfortable going to and fro
You can never erase one end of a wand
If you do you've went one step beyond

I burst through to the level of deep awake
Guess who I met there? That's right, a snake
He said “You took your time, my faith was waning
But don't worry son, it was all part of your training”

I realised the perfect life was a fallacy
Like fighting for freedom and democracy
I gave up searching for definitive questions
By opening myself up to outlandish suggestions

I complicated matters of the trivial heart
Which set me up for failing before the start
The wind blew me east towards the breeze
To escape the meltdown financial freeze

I eroded my sense of self worth and well being
To see if that would free my ass into believing
But not even the foul stench of injustice in the air
Was enough to save Jesus from the chair

I explored inside my given sense of reality
Looking for a way out of my fading mortality
I found that when I turned the tables around
Three angels were waiting to slip me a pound

The Dumbing Down

Once upon a time there were some clever soldiers
They were so well educated it was a delight
When the commanders gave the order to kill
They asked for the reason why they had to fight

"This will not do" said the top of the pyramid brass
So they reasoned that civilians be dumbed down
They had an empire to build, people to kill
They require unthinking robots to invade a town

"Start with the children,offer free education"
They were a wolf in sheeps clothing alright
So they introduced the outcome teaching method
Where they grind your will in a twelve year long fight

Indeed, the further you go into their dialectic
The more you don’t know your arse from your elbow
When you control both sides of the arguement
The bitter truth will always be over the rainbow

There are steps to perceiving, thinking and acting
Knowledge of how we can teach ourselves
We only need to be taught the basic Trivium
And then we can make them our fucking elves

If we are going to evolve it requires effort
Or at least giving our children the hidden tools
Maybe our brains have been numbed too much
Do we really need any more media fools?

I wish I had the capability to read a book
But I have the concentration levels of a gnat
I can’t think how bad the x generations are
They don’t even know how much food makes you fat

The way we are controlled follows the caste system
Eighty Seven per cent of us are viewed as useless eaters
Well let me tell them something I can eat pretty well
If only I had the balls not to pay their parking meters

The beauty of the power of now to which I subscribe
Is that this information is now available to the chattle
All they have to do is read ten mind expanding books
If they can stop long enough playing with their rattle

Hidden Truths

The serpent represents wisdom knowledge
The fruit of the tree of life alters perception
Plants play the key in the evolution of song
We learn to dance in the midst of deception

Laws are enforced by the compliance of people
Tickets are issued to peasants waiting to bloom
Papers are passed to ensure exchange of money
Criminals love to parade in their official costume

Belief in your team is the first rule of fight school
Lack of belief in yourself is a close behind second
Death to the losers with the weakest brain links
Personal trainers sit on the fence trying to beckon

Elite manufacturers know how to get the job done
Slaves erect statues to honour their owners
Society progresses along the well trodden path
Those who think differently are thought of as moaners

Families are destroyed from within their own head
The box in the corner imparts none of their wishes
They wish they could just for once fight or flight
But their only release comes from washing the dishes

Science claims that it has no self propagation agenda
Fear grips those who find out the inconvenient truth
Politicians exhale their carbon based profitable future
Turning their back on the high ideals of their youth

Water is poisoned by Nazis with a mountain of waste
Numbers are added to food to get us addicted
Disease ridden injections are given to ward off disease
The world health organization should be convicted

Hope stands at the edge of our collective unconscious
Power looks down at those who have lost connection
Logic and reason would now lake a place at the table
So let's vote for ourselves at the next general election

Nineteen Sixty Seven

The boys were inspired by the men in white
Who produced a demonstration of quality
Seven times they found the back of the net
Until then we were used to serious frivolity

In the dirty streets they practiced their art
Shoes were worn out after kicking the can
Reality was far from gripping their minds
They were all the game's number one fan

A man came along who witnessed the vision
His tactical nous came through hard graft
He studied in how to overcome the master
He never gave the impression as if he was daft

He led the boys to manhood by his hand
Meticulously planning every step in the round
Surprising everyone with a very strange decision
Defending a lead was not his type of profound

Film stars turned up to watch the extras
Big Bad No Flies John said show them nothing
They turned up in the heat expecting a walk over
Strutting their stuff in their matching clothing

A penalty was given as he took him from behind
The resulting kick was an forgone formality
They tried to shut up the back door shop
But were made to pay for their lack of morality

In waves they were attacked by men in green
Running direct at target while shooting on sight
Their hearts began to weaken as the door creaked
Eventually the dam burst and so had their fight

The winning combination was mercifully quick
The job was done their was no need to rub faces
They didn't want to revel in their fall to earth
Even though they were not fit to tie their laces

The party began with a thousand running feet
A cup was lifted high by a lion looking down
The rattles shook the air with merry wild abandon
As the jesters were Kinged European Crown

It was then that the old master called to the pupil
He said you are ready for your crowning test
Come to battle in my backyard pressure cauldron
The time has come to see if you've become the best

It was a risky move but not one to be sniffed at
He steeled all the troops then poured on the oil
The freedom worked a treat on the slick machine
It wasn't very long until it was brought to the boil

The master had been defeated and accepted graciously
He acknowledge that on the day he was inferior
The student became immortal although you couldn't tell
He was never one to act like he was mother superior

At international level we also gained jubilation
Defeating an old enemy in a place they had conquered
We had to take the piss in a way to teach respect
For years they had left us homeless and beleaguered

It may have been a friendly victory on the battlefield
But in our hearts where it mattered we believed
Our pride in ourselves had been put back on the agenda
For the past year we were acting like we were bereaved

The world has moved on to virtually greener pastures
The streets are free from happy care free young feet
There was a time when we were on top of the world
But now our talent just makes us wanna greet

Maybe we have to take the inspiration from the past
Focus it in a direction where we can achieve results
We need to invent a sport that we practice every day
We could be world champions at hurling humourous insults